It was only fitting that the Lakers swept the detestable Portland Trail Blazers out of the playoffs this past week.

After all, this is a franchise that tolerates Rasheed Wallace’s incredibly tiresome antics, yet has the gall to throw a paying customer out of the Rose Garden just because the fan refused to relinquish her sign imploring the team to trade their embattled G.M. Bob Whitsitt.

After their choke job against LA in the Western Conference Finals last year, many picked Portland to win the championship this season. Instead, after a fast start, the Trail Blazers plummeted.

Whitsitt deserved the criticism. He essentially traded the promising Jermaine O’Neal and the useful Brian Grant (although to be fair Grant was awful in the playoffs last year) for the done like dinner Dale Davis and fat drug addict Shawn Kemp. Kemp is presently in drug rehab and was not available for the playoffs. As if the locker room atmosphere wasn’t bad enough, Whitisitt acquired Rod Strickland, who is only useful if one requires a drunk driver.

Arvidas Sabonis only plays when he feels like it, which isn’t often. Clearly injuries and incalculable vats of vodka have taken their toll on the former Russian standout. Scottie Pippen has become an offensive afterthought, and it is clear that he was never truly a star, but rather his early success was a product of his playing with Michael Jordan. The undersized and overrated Damon Stoudamire will not accept that for the good of the team he should look to pass first and score second. The Bonzi Wells injury hurt, but the team was already collapsing when he went down.

Portland’s biggest problem is that its best player is a spoiled brat. Wallace is an incredible talent, but there is no excuse for his 40+ technical fouls a year. By displaying that type of behavior, Wallace has shown that he has no respect for his teammates, (any doubt on that issue was removed when he threw a towel in Sabonis’s face in the regular season), his franchise, the paying fans or the sport. Somehow either Whitsitt or Coach Mike Dunleavy has to get through to Wallace, through increased suspensions, fines or whatever it takes. And if they are not capable of doing so, they should be replaced with people who can.

Meanwhile, Dunleavy should be forced to answer for his curious decision to bring Steve Smith off the bench. Smith is the team’s second best player, and the Critic will not soon forget how Smith torched Kobe Bryant in the second to last game of the regular season. Smith is a talented team player, a commodity of which Portland is lacking.

Dunleavy deserves another season if he wants to subject himself to it, as he did not suddenly become stupid in one year. But changes must be made. As one notable former Trail Blazer might put it, the 2000-2001 Blazers were one of the greatest disgraces in the history of the NBA.

Random Musings

The Heat’s sweep at the hands of the Hornets was embarrassing. Sure Alonzo Mourning was not at 100 percent and had missed the majority of the season as a result of his kidney condition. But this was not the ‘62 Celtics that Miami was playing. Pat Riley must be humiliated. Sure there are excuses that he can make with the various injuries, but the question remains. How can a team with Mourning, Eddie Jones, Brian Grant and Tim Hardaway be blown out in such a fashion?

Maybe it is time for skull face to hit the road.

Cleveland Browns fifth round draft pick Jeremiah Pharms was arrested this week for allegedly (like he didn’t do it) taking part in an armed robbery last year. Commissioner Paul Tagliabue immediately called Pharms on the carpet to explain to him that players are supposed to commit criminal acts after they join the league. An ecstatic Butch Davis immediately bragged that he knew Pharms had “what it takes to make it in this league.”

Speaking of stealing money, ESPN reported that Ryan Leaf showed up 25 pounds overweight to the Tampa Bucs minicamp. Tony Dungy should have cut that dog on the spot. Clearly Leaf still has no clue.

Omar Cook of St. John’s has joined the ranks of collegiate players who have accomplished next to nothing in college yet declared for the NBA Draft. It is too bad that Isiah Thomas ruined the CBA. With all the stiffs coming out of college who will not get drafted, the CBA talent base would have been at its highest level ever.

Perhaps Cook should consider the fact that his predecessor at St. John’s, Erick Barkley, a better player than Cook, only played 8 games for the Blazers this year before being stashed on the injured list.

The Critic would love to know what Sean Higgins, Scotty Thurman, Dontonio Wingfield and Anderson Hunt are up to right now.

In a few years, we will be asking the same question about Cook and Jason Richardson.

If you missed the Allen Iverson-Larry Brown piece in Sports Illustrated a couple of weeks back, do yourself a favor and hunt it down. The article explains the complicated personalities of both men and details their ongoing relationship in an exquisite manner.

The Sixers lose in the finals to the Lakers in 6.

There is no player more overrated by his own team’s fans than Trot Nixon of the Red Sox. Other than an ability to hit Roger Clemens, Nixon has shown little over the past two seasons. Nixon has limited pop and cannot hit lefthanders. And Dante Bichette should be starting for Boston in left in place of the helpless Troy O’Leary.

Pedro Martinez is 3-0 with a 1.47 ERA. Had Martinez received any support from his teammates in his other three starts, in which he gave up 1, 2 and 2 runs respectively, he would be 6-0. However, Martinez’s control and command has not been as good as usual. Wait until he really gets it together.

Ichiro Suzuki’s offensive game is very reminiscent of that of Kirk Gibson. Of course, Suzuki has a gun from the outfield, while Gibson threw like Tommy John before the surgery.

Twenty-five games into the season and neither Nomar Garciaparra nor Derek Jeter have homered.

Of course, the Boston shortstop is on the disabled list.

The Critic isn’t ashamed to admit that playoff hockey can be exciting.

However, it should be preempted for Baseball Tonight or SportsCenter.

By: Scott Shuster