THE SKINNY
Two stoner roommates, too hungover to remember the previous nights events (of which there were many), can’t find their car and get them self into a mess that could put an end to the universe. Sound compelling? If you said “hardly”, then you and I have something in common.

THE BOTTOM LINE
This movie is ridiculous (and not in a good way). It is a cheap script with very few laughs. Kutcher and Scott, two promising comedic actors, should have known better that to take their respective roles. Shame on them. At the same time I recognize it was probably a nice pay day for two “dudes” in their young twenties.

THE FULL REVIEW
Granted, this movie was not meant to be “deep”, rather it is purposely shallow. That is fine, as there have been some terrific comedies the past few years that were ridiculous (Something About Mary, American Pie). This movie, however, is lowest common denominator garbage. I imagine if some college kids smoked a lot of weed in the parking lot and then went into the theatre to watch this “comedy”, they might have some laughs, but drugs would play an active role in their laughter. In a sober state, this film fails. Yes, this reviewer was sober for the viewing. Hey, I am 29 years old, I have grown up a bit thank you very much.

So the two main characters (I mean idiots) are Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott). As I indicated above, Jesse and Chester get so messed up partying that they wake up with no recollection of the previous night’s events. A night in witch they leased a $90,000 car, helped a transvestite transport $200,000, won a lifetime supply of pudding at the mini golf course, and trashed their girlfriend’s home (the dudes date twin sisters).

So I don’t make this review any longer than it needs to be, Jesse and Chester, in their efforts to get the car back, learn that there are people coming after them because they are thought to have obtained, during their blacked out drunken night, the “continuum transfunctioner,” a mysterious device that could end the world. Gripping, huh?

Do Jesse and Chester have the continuum transfunctioner? Do they get the car back? Do they eat all the pudding they won? Does the world come to an end? The answer to all of these questions is: Who bleeping cares?

Often when I compose reviews, I recommend seeing the movie immediately, or I will suggest waiting for the video. This time, I suggest that you, after reading my review, never read or talk about this movie ever again. When it comes on cable, change the channel. If you see it in the video store in a couple months, keep walking. I know it is not acceptable for critics to use the word “sucks” in a review. But at Candidcritic.com, the place where you’ll find brutally honest reviews and commentary, I think the word “sucks” is acceptable.

On a positive note, if you have aspirations to be a screenwriter, this film will keep your hopes alive. If this script got sold, I am certain weak scripts will continue to be purchased by major studios for years to come. Keep writing, and please do better that Philip Stark did in this effort.

By: Aaron Levin - contributing writer