As with riding the subways, there is an etiquette to riding an elevator, unwritten rules if you will. Failure to follow any of the following should result in immediate banishment to the nearest staircase.

First, and I cannot stress this enough, if you’re thinking of getting on an elevator only to take it up or down one floor, think again. There is nothing worse than having someone get on the elevator on the 8th floor, scan the buttons and press the number 9. You can almost always hear the collective groans of the other passengers in the elevator. Do you know why? Because it’s lazy and downright rude! Here’s a suggestion – take the stairs! Every building has them, so don’t even try and use the, “but there are no stairs which lead up to the ninth floor” excuse. I seriously doubt that if there were a fire, the inhabitants of the eighth floor would be forced to wait for an elevator or jump out a window. So, unless you’ve got a handful of packages or happen to be a FedEx delivery guy, take the stairs.

Also, and this really just goes without saying, if a group of people are waiting for the elevator and the up/down button is already pressed, there is absolutely no need to press it again. It seems like an obvious point, but it seems to happen a lot. Are these people under the impression that the elevator will respond faster if they continuously press the buttons? Do they believe that the laws of elevator mechanics are suspended in their world? Or perhaps they think that somewhere on the other end of that already pressed button is some disgruntled elevator worker in need of a gentle shove in the right direction. It’s time these people understood, it doesn’t work that way. If the button is pressed, just stand there and wait with everyone else. It’s just like when you were in school and everyone was crowded around the locked classroom waiting for someone to come and unlock the door. Inevitably a student will come, notice the crowd waiting, and try the door anyway to see if it’s actually locked. Both of these situations are similar in that they seem to foster the same type of stupidity.

Once you’re in the elevator, another group of rules goes into effect. First, if you’re not getting out right away, step to the back of the elevator and keep out of our way. There’s nothing worse than having to push your way through five people to get out. Of course, the corollary to this rule is that if you’re getting out right away, stand near the front so you don’t need to push your way through five people to get out. Also, be careful not to overcrowd someone in an elevator. There’s absolutely no need to stand on top of someone if you’re the only two people on the elevator. If you have trouble with this concept, try pretending that riding in an elevator is a game. And, the object of the game is to keep as much distance between yourself and the other people in the elevator at all times. Its actually really very simple. Just give people their space. Because in case you haven’t noticed, people get very uncomfortable if you crowd them. I needed a lawsuit to teach me that lesson.

When it comes to holding the door for a friend who is running behind, the quick answer is don’t. Unless the elevator is empty, you’re probably annoying the other occupants. Here’s a quick dose of reality - even if they tell you they don’t mind waiting, they always do. Remember that next time you hold the door waiting for your friend in accounting who “should be here any second”. Also, under no circumstances should you stop the elevator doors from closing just so you can get in. Do us all a favor and take the next elevator! There’s always another one a few seconds away and, trust me, no one is ever happy to have someone prevent the doors from closing. Here’s a helpful hint to anyone who sees someone running for the elevator just as the doors begin to close - hit the door close button as fast as you can and pretend you’re pressing the door open button. That way the doors close faster and the guy on the outside isn’t upset because he thinks you tried to help him. Everyone wins. Well, everyone except the guy running for the elevator, but really, who cares about him when it’s 8:15 in the morning and you want nothing more than to get to your desk, have your coffee and zone out for the next twenty minutes wishing you were still in bed.

By: Jason Cahill