Mike Davis got a soft but talented star and a bunch of white guys shooting three pointers to the final Monday night of the NCAA tournament. So why is the Critic so down on Davis?

To start, Davis’ habit of thanking God every time he is asked a question is beyond irritating. Is he really so self absorbed to honestly believe that God cares about some basketball coach but doesn’t feel the need to do something about the middle east and the spread of terrorism? If the networks really cared about their viewers, they would tape all interviews with Davis and then cut all of his religious nonsense.

Second, as reader Adam Lippard points out, Davis commands no respect. Davis doesn’t act like a head coach. In the same way that some politicians don’t appear to be presidential, Davis comes across as not up to the responsibility of being the head man.

Witness Davis collapsing to the floor when Dane Fife fouled Jason Williams in the closing seconds of the Duke game. Or Davis telling reporters that there is no way Jared Jeffries will be back next year, when Jeffries was playing in the final the next day and had not announced any such decision. Ostensibly, if Jeffries has not made the announcement, he either was undecided or wanted to keep his decision private so as to not be a distraction to his team. Perhaps Davis should find out where Jeffries will go in the draft before deeming Jeffries’ career over.

Speaking of distractions, how about Davis declaring he wants to be an NBA head coach the day before the championship game. Davis’ pronouncement should do wonders for recruiting. And Davis also said that he wants a raise. Did this guy actually think about Maryland at any point on Sunday?

Finally, Davis was dumb enough to guarantee a victory over the Terps. Somewhere, Patrick Ewing must have turned over in his grave.

Maybe God will do us all a favor, and spare us another Mike Davis sighting in the final four.

Much has been made of the fact that Bob Knight did not call Davis or any of his former players to congratulate them. It’s too bad that he didn’t, because he could have asked them what it feels like to win in the tournament.

By the way, the Critic was flipping through the channels and saw about 5 minutes of A Season on the Brink. Digger Phelps is such a poor actor that he was not even convincing as himself.

This keeps the Critic up at night: is Lonny Baxter effective because he is fat and takes up more room or would he be better if he was in shape.

We will all miss those Tom Coverdale ankle updates.

Juan Dixon’s three pointer after Indiana took the lead and then his subsequent fall away jumper were awe inspiring. Dixon will be a nice two guard in the NBA, even though he is a bit on the small side. His anticipation on defense is remarkable.

By the way, during their victory celebration after the final, Maryland fouled Kansas again, stopping the clock in the semifinal game. Really, have you ever seen so many dumb fouls in your life? Gary Williams must have wanted to kill himself.

Chris Wilcox is raw, but his athleticism is incredible. He could be the number one pick in the draft next year if he comes back to Maryland and improves his offense. He is a better pro prospect than Jeffries, who reminds the Critic of a softer Alan Henderson, though with better offensive moves. He too could use another year at the collegiate level.

Steve Blake made some terrible plays, but Billy Packer was wrong in suggesting that Gary Williams pull him in crunch time in favor of Drew Nicholas. Blake was the best assist man in the NCAA all year and Nicholas demonstrated against Kansas that he cannot bring the ball up against pressure.

Packer and Nantz do a good job. But CBS’ annual One Shining Moment song is sappy and should be retired.

Another reader observation, this one from JP: should white guys like Jason Kapono be banned from wearing headbands?

Observations from Opening Day at Fenway

Pedro had nothing. While some of the Jays hits were cheapies, Martinez had no command and his fastball was rarely above 91. If he is hurt, the Red Sox should shut him down and try to fix him once and for all with surgery.

If the Pedro we saw on Monday was the real Pedro, Boston’s season is already over.

Chris Carpenter was no better. In less than three innings, he gave up 4 home runs that all went more than 400 feet.

Coming back from injury, Jason Varitek looked great, with three hits, a homer and a diving grab that was reminiscent of the play on which he broke his elbow last year.

And then there was the moronic Ugueth Urbina, who pumped his fist after striking out Vernon Wells to end the ninth inning. Urbina was seemingly oblivious to the fact that he had allowed the ultimate game winning run.

The Jays have a nice player in Eric Hinske, the third baseman they picked up in the Billy Koch deal. And Jose Cruz was spectacular in left. Buck Martinez was right when he relegated Shannon Stewart to DH.

The great Steven Tyler sang the national anthem and then stayed for all 9 innings of the marathon 12-11 Jays win. It was probably the longest amount of time Tyler has gone without sex, assuming that he didn’t take care of some business between innings.

The Critic’s baseball picks. In the AL it will be the Yankees, Indians and Seattle with Oakland taking the wild card. In the NL Atlanta, Houston and Arizona win their divisions with St. Louis taking the Bob Costas route.

Houston over Seattle in the World Series.

Random Musings

Cincinnati center Donald Little was charged with kidnapping his roommate. One wonders where he brought him.

I mean your roommate is already there by definition. Why go to the trouble to kidnap him and subject yourself to criminal liability?

The Critic isn’t a big women’s hoop fan, but Gino Auriemma runs some amazing plays. That UConn team was impressive winning the final against Oklahoma without making a three pointer.

How much clearer does it have to get for Michael Jordan to realize that it is over?

Tawny Kitaen was arrested after being charged with hitting her husband, Indians pitcher Chuck Finley.

The police should have cut Kitaen some slack. After all, it was her first hit since Bachelor Party.

If one suicide bomber killed another suicide bomber, would the second one be pissed?

By: Scott Shuster